This photo has nothing to do with this article, but I liked the aesthetic of it 😂
Unfortunately, I’m having issues with one of my employees.
These things used to hurt me and send me into a tailwind, but at this point, I try to receive them with acceptance and faith in the future.
I’ve noticed that it’s easy to become jaded while running a business, I see so many employees and clients come, and it’s easy to take people for granted, to just move on and find someone new.
Loss is inevitable, let’s move on.
Employee churn is expensive though, so I’ve been forced to really look into these issues, and what I’ve found is interesting.
I’ve gotten far more self-development done from managing others, than I’ve ever gotten from solo trips, retreats, etc.
When you’re managing you’re really forced to face your impulses in relationships
With the threat of lost money and productivity hanging in the balance – I’m forced to take a deeper look back, what happened, how can I improve, etc.
While in my personal life I wasn’t motivated to do much of this at all. I had tried, but dammit it was too hard.
I would take a surface-level look back on broken relationship, and then onto the future.
If a relationship, friendship, or acquaintanceship didn’t work out, don’t dwell too much – just move on
I was free, if something didn’t work out, I could leave. If I didn’t like a relationship I could leave, if I didn’t like a place I could leave.
I designed my life so I could leave just about anything. I had “optimized” my lifestyle to maximal individualism.
A recent photo of me here in Paris in the winter. Due to my relationship, I’m staying in Paris during these freezing months, something I never would’ve considered doing for anyone a year ago 😂
What I wanted was the most important element of my life
I say that in the past tense, but to be honest, I don’t know if I changed so much.
After a while I looked around and wondered why I felt so lonely.
Because I had followed my bliss ending relationships when they got hard, leaving places when the reality of my life started to set in, changing up my lifestyle when monotony forced me to face myself.
I found some thoughts on whether I travel to run away from my problems, written back in 2022 (not updated, so may negate most of what I say here 😂)
A photo from my time in South Africa, probably the height of my extreme individualism
With employees though I can’t do that so easily
I’m losing money every time one of these relationships doesn’t work out for heavens sake!
Finally, a legitimate reason to have some introspection!
I Still Want To Go On Deep Journeys Within
I will do a Vipassana retreat someday
I will hike solo through the Andes mountains for at least a week
I will continue to do long-distance bike races and trips
I will do these to slowly tear away every layer of myself to find my core.
I still love that idea
A photo from my solo bike trip from Athens to Istanbul
But I Don’t Need To Wait For Those Trips To Do Deep Work
Dealing with others in relationships when it gets hard will bear a lot more fruit in my self-development than any solo trip I take.
My ability to be a less shitty person can be ever so slightly ameliorated day by day in my interactions with those around me.
Just like I realized in dieting in my early 20’s.
Crash diets work – spending short periods of time in extreme situations to force change can work. However, if I don’t have a lifestyle in place afterwards, all of those gains I received in the crash diet period will be lost.
Deep self-development can be a daily practice, not something I wait to do in therapy sessions, retreats, or extreme solo trips.
P.S. if you have a child I’m sure these insights are cranked up 10X – to the good parents out there – chapeau
Interested in learning more about my story? Check it out here
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